Lazlo's Letters

Written some time after the events of Firefinger

Dear Berda and Voldy,

I am well aware of the unfortunate news that I was to be executed for the “murder” (was an accident actually), of Duchess Liza Fortenel during a botched (sabotaged, actually) stagecoach robbery.

While I was, indeed, destined for the reapers hook, I am sure you will be delighted to hear that I am, in fact, not dead! Hurrah!

No, right now I’m enjoying the sunny beaches and surely loot pocked environs of Chult! Imagine that! Me, going to fucking Chult of all places!

Place is quite nice actually, lots of places to hide, steal, and commit all sorts of the nefarious activities I know you are both so fond of! Truly, an opportunity of a lifetime, free from both law and order.

Did you know theres a veritable cornucopia of people who are just like us? There’s snake people, lizard people, other snake people, bird people, its awful really, that’s far too many to remember! Don’t worry yourselves though, as I’m sure you are. I will persevere, as I am wont to do.

Apart from that though, its been bloody great here. I’ve looted a city, killed a big fuck-off reptile ( a ‘dinosaur’, apparently), even saw some cunt die and get his soul sucked out. That last one was a shame though, Casper (Caspar? No clue) was an alright cunt.

Speaking of alright cunts, Ive even, and bear with me here, made friends! Isnt that wonderful! I met a pirate gnome whose shit with women, and some loud half-orc, whose just like me, although he’s better at morally disguising the looting and theft as ‘order’. You both like ‘order’, right? What with being in the guard and all? Maybe I’ll get you acquainted, he’s a nice bloke. Bit loud though. Oh and theres some little plant fella, Kupalue! Hes great, really. Not real reason why, hes just a sound bloke.

Anyway, I’m off to go save the world from some death curse because I am an oh so virtuous individual, and definitely not because of all the money I’ll make pillaging.

Hugs and kisses,

Lazlo

P.S: Ink’s short around here, so pass this on to the other when you’re done with this. Or don’t. You’re both adults